
Before children, I was a hard working, dedicated and loyal employee. I enjoyed my job and thrived on the challenges it provided. I kept my professional knowledge up to date and I actively looked for more courses that would develop my skill set. I knew that I wanted to climb the career ladder and be important and respected within my chosen profession. Then I had children. I returned to work and very quickly learned that what I had previously thought about my work ethic and aspirations had to change. I felt like a nuisance employee, one who relied heavily on others as they had to pick up my workload when I had to leave early due to childcare issues, I couldn’t take on the big projects as I now worked part time and therefore I wasn’t dedicated to the company, my priorities lay elsewhere and I just wasn’t part of the team anymore. I no longer dreamt about making it to the top, if I actually ever had time to dream it was to just get through the day, week, year and survive. My view of work changed, I changed, and ultimately, I was miserable. I was cross at myself for being miserable as I had always wanted children and that having to sacrifice my career was something that happened when you had children. I just had to get through this time and then when the kids were grown up I would have my time again.
Time did just carry on and I went on to have my second child. During my maternity leave however I got made redundant which filled me with fear and anxiety as who would take on a mother of 2 when they didn’t know me. I used to be dedicated and reliable, full of ambition, but I was now inexperienced, flaky and incapable of learning new skills as I was permanently exhausted. I surprised myself by managing to secure a new position but I felt respondent to the fact that I would start in my new role as the nuisance employee. When I started however the response was completely different. I felt welcomed and part of a team, I provided worth to the team and the new skills I had learnt since being a mum were valuable to my new found responsibility. As a result, I thrived and got promoted quickly. I learnt that I had been miserable previously, not because I had become a mum, but because I couldn’t be the working mum that I wanted to be. I was interested in what I was doing, and therefore I was enthusiastic and dedicated to my role. All the characteristics I thought I had lost or had to change were still there. I hadn’t changed at all, in fact, I was much more enthusiastic, I was fiercely loyal and dedicated and I learnt that it was the environment that I had been in previously that had altered my perception and I had just moulded myself into the expectations of that workplace. Yes there were still times that I had to leave early to pick the children up, or I couldn’t come into work as they were poorly, but I more than made up the time I had lost by working in my own time, longer hours when I could and taking work home, but I also knew how to be me and be part of my family which made me a much more rounded employee as I wasn’t working myself into the ground. I became more creative with my time as I knew that I couldn’t continue to be the 9-5 employee, I was focused on the project that I had to complete as I didn’t have time to get involved in the office politics or to have long chats over the water cooler. I was still involved and part of the team, but the dedication that I was providing to myself to be able to work and be a mum shone through. I managed my time to be able to be the employee and mother that I truly wanted.
The difference that the culture of a workplace made to me was huge, by working for someone who valued me, I then valued them and tried hard to succeed as this is what they expected of me. Yes I had children who were my priority, but that didn’t need to change me and my work ethic. My focus as a working parent intensified as I knew that I had limited time in the workplace so my efficiency improved, my assertiveness improved and my confidence improved. Even with children, I hadn’t changed, I was still a hardworking, dedicated and loyal employee.
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Major thankies for the article post. Really Great. Gratiana James Kellene
Beautiful words from the heart. Thank you for sharing. God bless you for being an amazing daughter to one of the sweetest ladies I know. Hyacinthie Myles Farley